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The human body contains the soul, yet people wear the human body full of mask's and won't allow themselves to be true to their core, here I will be my true self as I am in real life aswell and share my real thoughts, but i wont reveal myself to protect the human shell and why should you care of my appearence? Its the soul that holds the value!
I will use this space as a Journal. As I write down on my real Journal i will transcribe it to this space and share it to everyone.
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A.I. loose on the world
I find AI as an assistive tool very interesting but Im aware not everyone uses it the same way I do. I wrote 2 songs since last year one with the help of AI and one without, now before I get judged on using it in an artistic matter, put dont the pitchforks and let me be very clear about this, I DID NOT USE AI TO GENERATE MY SONG, that would kill my artistic vision, how did I use it then you may ask? As an interactive dictionary, thats it, which is why I do not support the idea of AI taking over ANY artistic work, its meant to be an assistant not our substitution, not the author of the works. I support the use of it as a generative "toy" but to be as bold as to say they are the author of said "creation" whats the word im looking for here... is it hubris? (using AI here to look the definition of it to be sure) yup hubris, excessive pride, arrogance or self confidence, notice how I used it? I used to draw anime girls, some Fan-Character creations and other stuff Im not the greatest at it but I made them and i have an attachment to them as they are extensions of myself but when I used AI to generate the image i had in my mind, sure the results were amazing, even if at times it had flaws with more or less fingers for example, but I had no attachment to it the emotions I felt went away as fast as they came i felt nothing towards it at the end you know why? BECAUSE I DIDNT MAKE IT. People cant seem to differentiate this and i dont understand how they cant are they really this oblivious to it, the people who promote Generative AI as art either
-They never were an artist to begin with and they fool themselves while trying to fool or convince others that they made those end results be it image, writing or music hell even coding and use it as an excuse because they lack the dedication, time and will to put in the effort to actually learn the skills required to get those outcomes because it takes years of blood sweat and tears or
-They are gaining a monetary value from it so they justify it to be okay so they can milk the cow as dry as possible because otherwise they wouldnt have the ability to do it on their own, this also applies to singers who claim can sing but use autotune everystep of the way, dont fool yourself get some lessons, there is nothing wrong with being bad at the things we want to be good at, EVERYBODY IS BAD AT EVERYTHING WHEN THEY START but we get better along the way when we persist, unfortunatly this also applies to using AI generations with better and better prompts.
AI is meant to be an assistant but people wield it as a weapon and are completly unaware of it. You want to generate images, songs, story books and so on go ahead but dont promotoe it as your creations because they fundamently are not. Just because you tell the painter how you want the drawing in the end its not your creation, just because you tell the cook how you want your food doesn't mean you have cooked your own meal, pick up the tools and do it yourself, ah but it doesnt sell aswell if the people know that its AI made right? Because if its made by AI why should they come to you if even they can use it.
Bad habbits and vices
Im aware that i suffer or self sabotage from gluttony the most. I weighed 177Kg, had surgery, controlled myself formed a good habbit of working out and hit 115Kg thats 62Kg I lost in less than a year. Now I see myself slipping, im at 118,7, Im eating things i shouldnt be eating I am aware of this so why do I run on autopilot, in circles and do this. I havent found the anwser most likely this is some sort of parasitic trauma response to a past event and i fear that i will fall again without a way to recover... i need to me more conscious of this. This leech on me is something I need to destroy it as soon as possible. I also fall victim to lust and sloth but thats for another time.
Consent, Age, Sex and Gender
At what age should one do the carnal act? Should you be married first? Your Brain is developed at around the age of 25, some country's say youre ate legal age at 18, some allow you to drive at 16 (Under the supervision of an adult but still, you are effectivly handling a moveable weapon at this point), drinking and smoking 18 some 21 (legally speaking), my stance is it should be after you are 25 (i had my first experience at... i think it was at 22) There are already cases where kids who are barely over 12 do it with each other this is sickening. So 18 should be okay you say, but lets really think back when we were 18 and be honest with ourselves, we are so gullable still at that age and thought we knew better than our parents or elders only to shot ourselves in the foot but are to embarassed to admit to this fact, some say they do the act so soon so that they can belong and be a part of a "club" or certain group but what for? Its a shit club/group to impress people we at our core honestly dont even like so why try to be part of it...are people really that afraid of being their actual self even if that implies to being alone? It was fact for many generations that there are only 2 Genders (go grab your pitchforks I really dont care my stance on this won't ever change), nowadays people identify as whatever the hell they want, now I honestly dont have an issue with any of this, the problem occurs when they push this on children, the problem occurs when they want the people around them to change to their wants and "needs". I used to interact with all kinds of people and personalities when i was younger in a folklore like band, and some of those people turned out to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, and they were kind people I found out I dated 2 bisexuals in my lifetime but thats the thing, they were never in your face about it to feel accepted in the space they were at the time, now the new age of these people have the need to be in your face about these things, they have a need to feel accepted in a certain group, to feel like they belong, but they are forcing it on others and that is why they are rejected. Be who you want to be, I may not agree with you on certain things, but we can share the same space and interact with one another or help each other on certain tasks but dont try to influence and manipulate my freedom and I wont touch yours, we can debate things from our perspectives in a peacefull manner but not all people can handle this and this applies to both sides!
Faith questioned
I still dont know what to believe...was there a Jesus? Is there a God watching us all? In my mind if it all is true the world seems like a sick twisted cosmic joke but then again i dont have the full picture so where is my faith?
i struggle to find the anwser. All i can do is stay true to myself and my morals, no compromises, in what i believe to be right. Some might ask what is that? Is it like following the 10 Commandments? Honestly I dont even know all of them but I can share my viewpoints on some matters.
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-The one I hold as the highest is about children, being a father of 2 i have a certain bias obviously but this should be true for everyone regardless. Harming children or influencing them in a negative way is unforgivable, how can it be? Beings so pure with no hate in their hearts and some "people",if you can call them that, have the capacity to twist and break them emotionally even fisically, my heart aches thinking about it. There are murderes of men and women who have commited curel acts of violence, be it man or woman, and even they dont tolerate pedophiles or kill children that there says something!
-Stealing food when you are starving and have no legal ways to obtain it for yourself or others who are also starving should be forgiven if no harm has been done to another in a fisical sense, for money here has no actual value.
-You are free to do and be aslong as that freedom does not interfere with the freedom of another, manipulation is a way of robing said freedom, you saying someone acted according to their free will after manipulative talking and does what you wanted is not right it is in fact a free will with an infection that needs to be cured, however debating is ok, the key factor that differs is intention and end result- To convince someone without highjacking the mind
-It is your right to defend your life. "Though shall not kill" while I agree with this sentiment but under what circumstance can this change? What if your life is on the line? Am I allowed to kill then or should i just take it and die? What if the life of my children are ate stake? Should i let them go to the great beyond and take a gamble that God exists and they will be safe in his hands whatever that means? I am just a human and currently do not have all the anwsers but so many questions, so in these situations i will act in a way perceive to be necessary and in the end be ate the "Mercy of God".
Faith
I have no idea where it lies currently, i believed, rejected, believed it again and now im lost as i dont know what to think, but the phrase "God is within you" stuck with me more, so which leads me to believe that Im a God, not THEE God just a God, if each of us is a God, beings with diffrent morality, so I say... Be who you are but you are not allowed to take the freedom of others, if something or someone is interfering with your freedom you are allowed to defend yourself by any means necessary, this goes both ways. Debate, find a middle ground if possible but dont take the freedom of others, be who you want to be without imposing on others.
Taking a step back, Digital Minimalism
I started to be more aware of my phone usage and once i took noticed i felt the immediate need to take action against it, I want to to say i switched instantly my behavior, changing the launcher on the phone to a minimalistic one, deleting unnecassary apps, altough I sometimes fall in the hole of doomscrolling but I also know its way less
What i wish to do, what makes me happy?
Music, as for many others, brings me joy so it leads me to want to learn Guitar also thanks to the influence Bocchi the Rock had on me.
Video Games has also been in my life since i can remember. Since i grew up in the arcade era, pinball, beat-em-ups and fighting games are the genres i most like, i dream of one day making my own beat em up game
I remember having a knack for poetry when i was younger so to preserve it i want to direct it to songwriting.
What to do?
Im pondering on building my own website, I have no clear goal as of yet but i want to do Blogposts and maybe link it with youtube as a creative outlet maybe. Also i made the switch to linux as an act of rebellion to big corps but i already was giving them kinda the middle finger when i wasnt paying for windows,stripping every add and was still using it.
